Monday, 6 July 2015

Exciting, I know!

I know I am neglecting the blog a bit. I haven't had much to say or share I guess. Sometimes we have the urge to write, other times we don't.

Reasons might be because I am not super involved into any particular game at the moment.
And I am not the kind of "nerd" that read about tons of games and get super excited and dig into all the info there is.

So I end up with not writing I guess.

Recently picked up Heavensward - ffxiv.

Just playing an hour here an hour there on Cactuar where the blogger gang is.
I feel it's hard to really dig into the game because I don't see me going into any end game conent, and that is usually what I look forward to. But as I often have lags I don't feel I can join in with things like that anyways. I would just be more of an annoyance to the team then help. So yeah, I just dabble alone mostly, leveling my lowbie Miqote.

I did try the new race, Au Ra, I adored her, but in the end the horns just got to me. They started to annoy me so I reverted back to a kittycat as I had some potions left over since I made the character.

My goal is to get to one of the new classes, the new healer - Astrologian. I have no idea how they work, but I love healing so I have to try it.

I also want to try and get the new tank - Dark Knight, they wield big ass swords, so yeah, I have to try that.

The Machinist, which is the third new class doesn't really interest me. It uses some sort of guns and I don't really like using guns when there are other options.

I am still doing my youtube thing. 

It's going okay I guess. I have my doubts from time to time if it's something I should continue with or not. But hopefully that doubt will back off soon. I have had a period where I have felt very good about the things I do. But sometimes I just feel it's a waste of my time and others. 

I guess I just find that I am not an entertaining person, and have doubts that people will watch.
Got to remember why I started with it in the first place, but it's easy to forget.

I just have such a hard time getting involved in things, and really dig into it. Make it become a part of me and my daily life. I don't know where to get my inspiration from, how to get creative. They say creativity is something you can teach yourself over time, I am just struggling with it right now.

(shameless promoting my channel on blog)

Also think it has something to do with my depression. As I mentioned I have had a good period now over the past few months, but this last week has been a hard one. I have struggled to just get out of bed and try to do anything. Often I have gone to bed around 6 oclock and just slept a few hours, because I didn't want to be awake. 

I think I might have to have a hard think about my channel, maybe switch it up a bit with more personal things rather then gaming. Seems people enjoy my random things more then my gaming things, and I do enjoy doing vlogs as well, so why not. 

As I have mentioned before, I have been thinking about restarting my channel, but I have worked hard to get the little bunch of viewers I have now, so I am still undecided about that. 

One tiresome thing about Youtube is that it feels like a horrible game, people run around, subscribing to get a sub back. Watching a minute of the video just to have a comment to say, some don't even watch and write down generic comments like: Great Video, check out my channel. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. 

For one, it makes me feel that what I am doing is totally useless and that my content sucks, it fucks up my retention on my videos because people watch 2 seconds of my video and moves on, which means my ranking gets even worse then it was. 

I hate that game, and I don't want to be apart of it. I watch the whole video when I go around commenting, I say what I liked in the video, give a like and move on. If I don't like it, I move on to some other channel I like instead. Generic comments and sub for sub is just a fucking annoyance.

Yes I sub for people I know who have subbed for me, because I KNOW THEM, and want to support and watch them. THAT is totally different.

Sorry, I just had to get that out, been annoying me for quite some time. Because you can't avoid it, it's everywhere. 


We got shrimps! TINYTINY shrimps. We bought a tiny tank, and 6 shrimps. And we suddenly had 7 shrimps, so there was a baby too!

Sadly one shrimp died today, hopefully it was an old shrimp and no disease.  Exciting I know. Shrimps :P Well I think they are a funny bunch that just crawl and swim around. Hopefully there will be many baby's! 


  1. I feel the same way with my blogging sometimes--that I don't really have much to write about because real life is busy, or I just didn't play any games and instead wanted a few nights of TV shows, or whatever.

    The shrimp are adorable!!

    And I know exactly how you feel about the YouTube. I feel the same way sometimes--even about my blog. And it really is the depression and anxiety. But know that you're not alone, and I'm always here to talk if you hit that slump. <3

  2. Chestnut, you are so sweet and kind :) Thanks so much! You can always send me a pm too! Don't be afraid to ask/talk. Just remember that blogging is for fun, and if you're not feeling it, don't write.